Purpose? That you?

So far college hasn't been the best experience for me. For the first three years I was getting my AA degree, I felt lost and frustrated with my lack of a reason for being there. I didn't know what I was doing. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life or for a career.

Fortunately, a pattern started to form.

I started taking more media and communication classes and actually enjoying them. That is something I had never experienced before in school. I am not a natural born student. I've hated school from pretty much the first day of Pre-K. 

But it started to click, just a little bit with me, I started to learn stuff that I actually cared about. 

So I got my AA and went on to a different school, because I still wasn't sure what I wanted to do, but I might as well have a Bachelor's degree. I went into Communication, which I thought I would love. 

I was wrong. 

It was boring. Honestly, I think I learned about the communication model in every one of my classes. At the same time. And I learned about Pathos, Ethos and Logos in at least two out of four. That is something I learned all the way back in HIGH SCHOOL.

And a couple of the classes ended up being incredibly hard. I got the first C I've had in years because one of the teachers graded so hard. 

So, I recently decided to say "screw it" and go for what I've wanted to do for about 3 or 4 years now. 

I want to be a director. Of film. 

So I changed my major to Media Arts and so far, I love it. 

I feel like I'm starting to find what I'm meant to be. I know that sounds cheesy, but most of things I think and say are cheesy. 

For example, in my class about Film Producers, we were talking about finances and how to fund your movie. And normally, in any class talking about finances would be enough to make me want to use a cheese grater on my forehead, but this time I was engaged in what we were talking about. Do you understand how strange that is for me? 

So we'll see if this sticks for once and I don't become one of those college students who changes their major six times. Gosh, I hope so. I want to be done with school so badly. 

So moral of the story? Don't let anyone stop you from doing what you love to do. I should have done this earlier. I wish I would have changed my major last semester. 

So, thanks for listening and I will see you next year when I do another blog post. 

Just Kidding.

Hopefully.

You're wonderful and I hope you have a great week! Thanks again!

When Books Die

Why does Hollywood have to turn some of the best books ever into such horrific movies?

Watching Percy Jackson with my sister was a reminder of all the movies I've seen "adapted" (butchered) from books and other stories. Can we please have a moment of silence for all the amazing stories that have been massacred?

.......
................

Thank you.

We have been disappointed time and time again with movies like Percy Jackson, Eragon, Avatar the Last Airbender, and even children's' books like Where the Wild Things Are and the Cat in the Hat.

I know that people need to make money and can't make five hour long movies all the time, but that is no excuse to take out the best characters, change the freaking plot, and waste our time with some 2 dimensional horse crap that they expect us to happily shove in our faces and then thank them for blessing us with this Frankenstein's monster of a movie!

I'm very passionate about this. I hate to see a story that I fell in love with be turned into..,this. It might not be a big deal to most people, but it is to me and it is to a lot of others. Stories are powerful things and these are stories that affected us in a big way. That's why we get so angry. Someone who doesn't care about something very important to us has gotten our hopes up and then dashed them against the jagged rocks of disappointment.

It's frustrating.

Thank you for reading. Have a wonderful day.

Purpose, Purpose, Wherefore Art Thou Purpose

I know it's been a while since I've written one of these and I think that's because I haven't wanted to think for a while. I've been too busy with work and school and watching a lot of Youtube and Netflix.

I'm just being honest here.

I don't like to think about my future. I just don't. I have no idea what I'm going to do with my life and I get really stressed just thinking about. No joke, I've literally had panic attacks at the mere thought of what I'm going to do with my life. 

I have no idea what I want to do for a career, Not only do I not have a boyfriend, I don't even have any guys I would look twice at right now, so starting a family is waaaaay far away for me. 

I want to find my purpose that God has called me to. 

However, I don't hear the calling right now. And while I'm trying to be OK with that, I can't help but worrying like the crazy person I am. 

I have to remember that there are people in the bible that weren't called until they were much, much older than I am. That's encouraging, at least. 

I want to travel, that's one thing I've always known I wanted to do. But do you know how incredibly expensive it is? REALLY EXPENSIVE. Why does it cost so much? Why do they want everyone to stay where they are? 

Sigh... well, I'll wait for God to make whatever He wants me to do obvious, Until then...

Anyone up for a road trip?

Fool Of A Took

My favorite character from Lord of the Rings is definitely Gandalf (I'm sorry if you've never seen these movies. If you haven't, skip to the 4th section).  He pretty much has been since the first time I saw it. I like to think I'm like him, you know: natural leader, wise, sarcastic, powerful...

Unfortunately, I'm probably more like Pippen.

We were watching the first LOTR movie the other day and we were almost to the scene in the mines of Moria, where they're trying not to be detected by the goblins and they get to the tomb. Pippen, in all his Pippen-glory, accidentally causes a whole skeleton to fall down the well and it echoes through the whole mine. And when you watch that scene and you just cringe because you feel so bad for him.

I did something really stupid like that.

While we were watching LOTR, we started to get hungry and it's around dinner time, so we decide we want pizza. And I am the one who went out to go get it.

Now, we always get pizza from Papa Murphy's. It's delicious. I go, I get it and I put it on top of the car so I can open the door, put the pizza in the seat next to me, and drive home. Simple right? I've done it lots of times before...

To make a long story short, I didn't take it off the roof.

I couldn't find it anywhere and I felt sick.

Have you ever done something that ridiculously stupid that you just want to hit yourself in the head and throw up at the same time? That's how I felt.

I went back, explained the situation to the people working at Papa Murphy's, and they laughed. I would have too, in fact, I did.

They gave me another pizza for a discount and I remembered to put it in my car this time.

.......This is not the end of the story.

To top this all off, I actually found the pizza the next day. On the back of my car.

Not in the back of my car, on it.

That's right, I missed the big, giant pizza on the freaking back of my car. I had been driving around with it for a half a day!

You may take a moment to go "wow." Or do a facepalm. It's up to you.

I'm ok with being a dork most of the time, but sometimes, dang. I cannot believe some of the stupid crap I do.

Well. that's it. Feel free to share any stories like that, if you have them. It might make me feel better. Until next time, have a great week and you are loved.

School and Why I Hate It

I know I haven't done of one of these posts in a while and I'm sorry. I have been very busy.  I got done with school and was thrown straight into working almost every day. And while I love my job it's been stressful for me.

I just got back from vacation and it was exactly what the doctor ordered. I spent a few days not doing much and my poor brain needed a break.

Now I'm being thrown right back into work. The summer is halfway over and I don't feel like I've done anything useful with it. And it's killing me because I know I'll have to go back to school soon. That's the last thing I want to do.

I hate school, always have. I hate the deadlines, the pressure and how it demands to be the most important thing in your life. You have a social life? When August/September comes around, you can say good bye to that.

Especially when you have a job as well. My job is taking up all of my weekend nights right now and I keep having to say no to doing things with friends. And it doesn't help that I am a night owl and that I feel my best at night.

I feel like our school system is really messed up. It's considered normal to be so stressed out that you have at least a couple breakdowns during the year. It's considered normal to have so little time to yourself that you burn out. My age group is statistically the most lonely. It should not be that way. We don't have time to foster and grow healthy relationships. We rarely see people unless it's in class or for a project or for work.

Movies and TV portray college to be like:

You know, studying with friends, laughing having a great time.

Let me tell you, IT"S NOT LIKE THAT.
Not unless you're going to school to study something you're really passionate about and you have fantastic friends that help you study and don't distract you.

Hold onto that if you have it.

What college really feels like most of the time is this:

Obviously each of us would have different titles on those books, but the principle is still there.

They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, but sometimes I think the stress of work and school and life in general will just leave me curled up in a corner, hissing at anyone who tries to approach.

On that note, no matter where you are, in school or out of school, have a great week. You are loved. I will write you later.

Heart Knowledge

People can tell you things all your life, you can memorize them and recite them word for word, but what good are they if they don't sink in?

How long does it take for the knowledge in your head to get to your heart?

I ask this because of something that happened recently. I was working on a voice over assignment for school (I had to read a commercial and record it) and I told one of the guys I work with about it.

Now, to understand this, you need to know where I work now. I work at a radio station with the host of the number one talk show in my area. This was the guy I told about my voice over project and he actually offered to help me with it.

Think about that for a second. This professional talk show host (who I actually think is pretty cool) offered to help me with a school assignment. Holy crap. Ok, now we can continue.

Needless to say, I was a little intimidated. I was quite scared to try anything in front of him for fear of failure. He could see that. He asked me to do a witch's cackle for him and I couldn't do it for the longest time. I can't do a witch's cackle! Not a good one anyway. So I couldn't do it at first and he had me do a bunch of other things like bark and act like a monkey.

This was what he said after that. He gave me a few tips and told me to not think when I read my commercial. And it was great advice. The problem was, that's easier said then done. So I managed to actually do a witch's cackle, but it wasn't anything like I thought it should sound like.

He told me my main problem was my lack of confidence and to get out of the way of myself. I almost broke down right then and there. I got so frustrated with myself because people have told me that and I just can't do it. It's hard!

People have told me that before. And I think they're right. I need to stop being afraid of looking stupid and go out there and live my life. I'm slowly getting better at it, but I'm not where I want to be. There is a difference between knowing something in your head and knowing it in your heart and soul.

That's Not My Name

So, my name is Goldie, believe it or not. Before you ask, yes, it is my real name. It is the name that is on my birth certificate, it is the name that my parents gave me. I was named after my great grandmother.

Now, I like my name. However, there are very few people with the same name. I have never met anyone with the same name as me, except on the phone. So, whenever I introduce myself to new people, there is always some sort of reaction to my name. I've heard just about everything, but there are five things I hear the most often.

Here are the top 5 things that people say when they learn my name.

1. "Is that your real name?"
I've already mentioned this, but it's the thing that the most people say, so it's worth mentioning again. I just sigh whenever someone asks me this now. I've actually started introducing myself like I did in the beginning of this blog.

2. "Oh, like Goldie Hawn?"
Yes, like Goldie Hawn. No, I was not named after her. I just recently got asked this by a guy who was my age. Normally it's older adults that ask me this, but when this 20 year old guy asked me, I was bit surprised.

3. "What?"
Either they didn't hear me or they think they heard wrong when I get this response. And I have to wonder, what do they think is my name? Cody? Colby? Those are the two names that I mistake myself when they're shouted out in a crowd. They sound a lot like Goldie and it's kind of disappointing when you think someone is calling you and it turns out they're shouting for someone else.

4. "Goldielocks!"
This is the one I hate. All the others are fine, but I really don't like being called Goldilocks. I'm not sure why, but it's always made me really annoyed. I actually shoved a kid in 5th grade because we wouldn't stop calling me it. When you first meet me, I give you one chance to call me that. After that, it's your funeral.

5, "But you don't have gold/blonde hair!"
No, really?! Are you sure? This normally follows after being called Goldielocks. I've had dark brown all my life, I'm quite aware that I am not a blonde, thank you for the observation. And the part that makes me laugh the most about this is that quite often they think they are the first people to point that out.

People also quite often tell me that it's a cool and unique name and I like that. Even if it's after one of the five things that I wrote about. I love my name and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

So, until the next time I write a blog, goodbye and have a great week!