Purpose? That you?

So far college hasn't been the best experience for me. For the first three years I was getting my AA degree, I felt lost and frustrated with my lack of a reason for being there. I didn't know what I was doing. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life or for a career.

Fortunately, a pattern started to form.

I started taking more media and communication classes and actually enjoying them. That is something I had never experienced before in school. I am not a natural born student. I've hated school from pretty much the first day of Pre-K. 

But it started to click, just a little bit with me, I started to learn stuff that I actually cared about. 

So I got my AA and went on to a different school, because I still wasn't sure what I wanted to do, but I might as well have a Bachelor's degree. I went into Communication, which I thought I would love. 

I was wrong. 

It was boring. Honestly, I think I learned about the communication model in every one of my classes. At the same time. And I learned about Pathos, Ethos and Logos in at least two out of four. That is something I learned all the way back in HIGH SCHOOL.

And a couple of the classes ended up being incredibly hard. I got the first C I've had in years because one of the teachers graded so hard. 

So, I recently decided to say "screw it" and go for what I've wanted to do for about 3 or 4 years now. 

I want to be a director. Of film. 

So I changed my major to Media Arts and so far, I love it. 

I feel like I'm starting to find what I'm meant to be. I know that sounds cheesy, but most of things I think and say are cheesy. 

For example, in my class about Film Producers, we were talking about finances and how to fund your movie. And normally, in any class talking about finances would be enough to make me want to use a cheese grater on my forehead, but this time I was engaged in what we were talking about. Do you understand how strange that is for me? 

So we'll see if this sticks for once and I don't become one of those college students who changes their major six times. Gosh, I hope so. I want to be done with school so badly. 

So moral of the story? Don't let anyone stop you from doing what you love to do. I should have done this earlier. I wish I would have changed my major last semester. 

So, thanks for listening and I will see you next year when I do another blog post. 

Just Kidding.

Hopefully.

You're wonderful and I hope you have a great week! Thanks again!

Purpose, Purpose, Wherefore Art Thou Purpose

I know it's been a while since I've written one of these and I think that's because I haven't wanted to think for a while. I've been too busy with work and school and watching a lot of Youtube and Netflix.

I'm just being honest here.

I don't like to think about my future. I just don't. I have no idea what I'm going to do with my life and I get really stressed just thinking about. No joke, I've literally had panic attacks at the mere thought of what I'm going to do with my life. 

I have no idea what I want to do for a career, Not only do I not have a boyfriend, I don't even have any guys I would look twice at right now, so starting a family is waaaaay far away for me. 

I want to find my purpose that God has called me to. 

However, I don't hear the calling right now. And while I'm trying to be OK with that, I can't help but worrying like the crazy person I am. 

I have to remember that there are people in the bible that weren't called until they were much, much older than I am. That's encouraging, at least. 

I want to travel, that's one thing I've always known I wanted to do. But do you know how incredibly expensive it is? REALLY EXPENSIVE. Why does it cost so much? Why do they want everyone to stay where they are? 

Sigh... well, I'll wait for God to make whatever He wants me to do obvious, Until then...

Anyone up for a road trip?

Individuality

People are different. That much is pretty obvious.

There seems to be this deep desire within us to be different from everyone else. We all like to think we're special. Don't get me wrong, we are all special, we're all different, but sometimes I look around and I'm confused.

See, while we have this need to be an individual and stand out, there is also this strong need to fit in. And that goes against the impulse to be different.

I see so much damage being done because of these two needs. There are the people whose need to conform is stronger and there are the people whose need to feel different leads them to rebel against everything.

I've mentioned before how I wasn't a "popular" kid. My need for individuality and my lack of ability to be fake made sure of that. I used to be sad that I wasn't in the "cool crowd". They always looked like they had so much fun. Now,  I'm so thankful that I wasn't. Now I am drawn to people who don't fake it, who try to be themselves as much as society tells them not to be.

I am not talking about the kids who try to rebel against everything by dressing scene or goth. If you like that style, go for it. But if you're doing it because you want to appear "edgy". Stop. Please. Just be yourself. There is nothing better that you could be.

God made each of us for a specific purpose. I believe that. And I don't believe that we will find any real purpose in life unless we trust God to lead us down the road He knows is best.

I love this de-motivational poster. I am a very sarcastic person and as much as this poster is supposed to be sarcastic and ironic, it's true. You are unique, and so is everyone else. Can you imagine if we weren't? How boring would this world be? 

What if every star was the same? What if they all were the same distance from the earth and each shined the same? The sky would look so uniform and it would lose most of its beauty. You were made to shine in the way only you can. Please don't try to copy anyone else's light. This world would be so much darker without you.