Purpose? That you?

So far college hasn't been the best experience for me. For the first three years I was getting my AA degree, I felt lost and frustrated with my lack of a reason for being there. I didn't know what I was doing. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life or for a career.

Fortunately, a pattern started to form.

I started taking more media and communication classes and actually enjoying them. That is something I had never experienced before in school. I am not a natural born student. I've hated school from pretty much the first day of Pre-K. 

But it started to click, just a little bit with me, I started to learn stuff that I actually cared about. 

So I got my AA and went on to a different school, because I still wasn't sure what I wanted to do, but I might as well have a Bachelor's degree. I went into Communication, which I thought I would love. 

I was wrong. 

It was boring. Honestly, I think I learned about the communication model in every one of my classes. At the same time. And I learned about Pathos, Ethos and Logos in at least two out of four. That is something I learned all the way back in HIGH SCHOOL.

And a couple of the classes ended up being incredibly hard. I got the first C I've had in years because one of the teachers graded so hard. 

So, I recently decided to say "screw it" and go for what I've wanted to do for about 3 or 4 years now. 

I want to be a director. Of film. 

So I changed my major to Media Arts and so far, I love it. 

I feel like I'm starting to find what I'm meant to be. I know that sounds cheesy, but most of things I think and say are cheesy. 

For example, in my class about Film Producers, we were talking about finances and how to fund your movie. And normally, in any class talking about finances would be enough to make me want to use a cheese grater on my forehead, but this time I was engaged in what we were talking about. Do you understand how strange that is for me? 

So we'll see if this sticks for once and I don't become one of those college students who changes their major six times. Gosh, I hope so. I want to be done with school so badly. 

So moral of the story? Don't let anyone stop you from doing what you love to do. I should have done this earlier. I wish I would have changed my major last semester. 

So, thanks for listening and I will see you next year when I do another blog post. 

Just Kidding.

Hopefully.

You're wonderful and I hope you have a great week! Thanks again!

Heart Knowledge

People can tell you things all your life, you can memorize them and recite them word for word, but what good are they if they don't sink in?

How long does it take for the knowledge in your head to get to your heart?

I ask this because of something that happened recently. I was working on a voice over assignment for school (I had to read a commercial and record it) and I told one of the guys I work with about it.

Now, to understand this, you need to know where I work now. I work at a radio station with the host of the number one talk show in my area. This was the guy I told about my voice over project and he actually offered to help me with it.

Think about that for a second. This professional talk show host (who I actually think is pretty cool) offered to help me with a school assignment. Holy crap. Ok, now we can continue.

Needless to say, I was a little intimidated. I was quite scared to try anything in front of him for fear of failure. He could see that. He asked me to do a witch's cackle for him and I couldn't do it for the longest time. I can't do a witch's cackle! Not a good one anyway. So I couldn't do it at first and he had me do a bunch of other things like bark and act like a monkey.

This was what he said after that. He gave me a few tips and told me to not think when I read my commercial. And it was great advice. The problem was, that's easier said then done. So I managed to actually do a witch's cackle, but it wasn't anything like I thought it should sound like.

He told me my main problem was my lack of confidence and to get out of the way of myself. I almost broke down right then and there. I got so frustrated with myself because people have told me that and I just can't do it. It's hard!

People have told me that before. And I think they're right. I need to stop being afraid of looking stupid and go out there and live my life. I'm slowly getting better at it, but I'm not where I want to be. There is a difference between knowing something in your head and knowing it in your heart and soul.