Tuesday, January 28, 2014


Relaxing is hard for me.

I'm not talking about physical relaxing, because if I'm honest, I'm pretty lazy. No, I'm talking about mental and emotional relaxation. It's really hard for me to just calm down and relax.

My brain does not have the ability to shut up. It latches onto the smallest, most bizarre things to think about and then just keeps going from there. One thing leads to another and sooner or later my thoughts are in a place I like to call the Wastelands. The Wastelands are where those thoughts that you have no idea why you were even thinking about them in the first place hang out. Sometimes this is where great ideas and stories are born, other times it's just terrifying.

Emotionally I cannot relax. I have really intense emotions naturally, so when I don't feel strongly about something, I get confused. And if I don't feel anything about a particular subject, I normally find a way to make myself care. Or I find something else to care about.

I was in class today, a class that I actually am interested in and we had a lab. I was in a group of two other girls, one that seemed like she just did not want to be there and the other seemed pretty nice.

Through the lab, I realized that these girls didn't think about things the way I do. One of them told me I was over-thinking an answer, then later she told me to relax. I almost replied "telling me to relax works about as well as baptizing a cat."

Sometimes I wish I had an "empty box". One of my friends "Ben" told me that most of his brain was an empty box. He didn't really think about anything most of the time. I couldn't believe anyone could really have that.

But I do like that I try to dive past what's on the surface of things. However, it can get really tiring.

Well, that's it for this time. Hope you enjoyed! Thanks for reading!

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