I just got back from vacation and it was exactly what the doctor ordered. I spent a few days not doing much and my poor brain needed a break.
Now I'm being thrown right back into work. The summer is halfway over and I don't feel like I've done anything useful with it. And it's killing me because I know I'll have to go back to school soon. That's the last thing I want to do.
I hate school, always have. I hate the deadlines, the pressure and how it demands to be the most important thing in your life. You have a social life? When August/September comes around, you can say good bye to that.
Especially when you have a job as well. My job is taking up all of my weekend nights right now and I keep having to say no to doing things with friends. And it doesn't help that I am a night owl and that I feel my best at night.
I feel like our school system is really messed up. It's considered normal to be so stressed out that you have at least a couple breakdowns during the year. It's considered normal to have so little time to yourself that you burn out. My age group is statistically the most lonely. It should not be that way. We don't have time to foster and grow healthy relationships. We rarely see people unless it's in class or for a project or for work.
Movies and TV portray college to be like:
Let me tell you, IT"S NOT LIKE THAT.
Not unless you're going to school to study something you're really passionate about and you have fantastic friends that help you study and don't distract you.
Hold onto that if you have it.
What college really feels like most of the time is this:
Obviously each of us would have different titles on those books, but the principle is still there.
They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, but sometimes I think the stress of work and school and life in general will just leave me curled up in a corner, hissing at anyone who tries to approach.
On that note, no matter where you are, in school or out of school, have a great week. You are loved. I will write you later.